did you get engaged???
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
