Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
