People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
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