uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
