Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
