And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
