I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
