I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
