Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
