I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
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