It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
