ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
