apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
