You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
