The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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