I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
