After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
