i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize