So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize