***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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