You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
