Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
it glows. i had to have it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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