Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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