brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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