Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
