Having a random hookup so left but love u
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
