I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
