i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
