she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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