that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
