He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
