Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
