god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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