i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
