I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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