At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Are we still banned from the library?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
