Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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