I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
