on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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