BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
