question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
