too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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