I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
