I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
even my farts smell like vagina
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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