Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize