There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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