U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize