See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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