ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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