I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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