if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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