we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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