I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
