she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
