i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
