i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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